Today I am missing my comrades who are having a meeting in Fremont. I really wish I was there, I know it would brighten my spirits. I hope when I do get there I will be able to have some face time.
It makes me furious that another person could have such an effect on my life. In fact, I'm quite furious at Barbara for being complicit in the lies and even with Gene for being a good man doing nothing so that evil can prevail.
I suppose it's all rather ambiguous and difficult to understand without context. I have started to transcribe some of the audio files here though it is barely scratching the surface of the (almost daily) abuse. I would be able to withstand this behavior and even school the perpetrator were it not for the fact that I am trying to raise a daughter and there is no way I will teach her that such undeserved male privilege and verbal assault is in any way acceptable. The lack of healthy role models in her life is appalling. I look forward to the day we are no longer shackled by this abject poverty which has left us little choice but to depend on the extended familial relations.
But yes, tonight I am furious with Barbara. Her facade of blind devotion to her relative perpetrator of domestic violence is disgusting. I am beginning to understand her part in the dysfunction and responsibility for inciting violent reactions for the various members in her family she accuses of being unreasonable simply because of the fact that she assumes that for some reason I have done things to "provoke" a violent reaction.
Thank God/dess/less for AJ and Maddie. Blessed be this small family.
Off now to do some work in the car while it's cool. I can pack a lot of crap in there.
Love to the Hales.